New Mom Sad That Baby Is Growing Up
Grief about babies growing upwardly - am I loopy?
(28 Posts)
I've got two DDs, aged 18 months and four months. For many reasons, it makes sense to stick to 2 children and I'm xc% sure that we won't take any more.
I've been enjoying every new stage of each DD'southward evolution and then much. It's wonderful to see them grow, and then far information technology's just been getting improve and better.
And so why this ridiculous tearfulness at the thought that they are growing up so chop-chop? Especially since fifty-fifty my big daughter is still very minor, really?!
It's merely hitting me quite of a sudden. I saw a newborn baby at soft play this morning time and it was such a daze to realise that DD2 is definitely not a tiny babe anymore. I've been weeping into the sleepsuits she's outgrown.
Am I losing my marbles? Is this hormones talking, wanting to make me broody over again? Or just the outcome of chronic (and ongoing) sleep impecuniousness?!
I feel the same and my DD2 is not even v months still! I imagine that newborns take that consequence on mums no matter how many children you take had.
We won't be having any more due to age, money, me hating pregnancy, DH's health issues. The thought of it makes me cry even though I wouldn't really want to practise it all over again.
Glad to hear it'due south getting better and better with 2. I have a similar historic period gap and two lovely DDs (though a chip wistful about the DS that never was).
No, you aren't going mad. Mine are almost iv 
and 13 months. And because I know we're not having whatsoever more, I am feeling sadder now. However, when DD turned one I felt meliorate when I remembered how much fun I had with DS between ages 1 and 2 and how much they learn in terms of walking/talking/etc and I realised that with each stage there will be something to await forwards to. Just call back, every bit they become older their toys will exist that much more interesting, they will be able to converse with you lot more, and savour them as they grow and learn. This is just the beginning, believe me 
.
Oh good, if I am going loopy at least I seem to exist doing it in good company! 
The strength and the irrationality of my feelings has overwhelmed me. There is no mode I desire to do the newborn fleck again and I can't look for my day non to revolve entirely effectually naps, feeding of one sort or another, and nappy changes. And yet, and yet... Even the thought of DD2 moving out of our bedroom, noisy snufflemonster that she is, makes me sad.
It is crazy merely I feel the aforementioned and I have iv children ranging from 4 months to 14. Just call up they all plough into teenagers...!
Dont worry! you are not alone. I have a 4 year old son and a v month erstwhile baby.i also practice not programme to have anymore.
Already my daughter is growing out of her tiny sleepsuits and i am having an extremely hard fourth dimension letting them go. i refuse to throw them and i couldn't blank to requite them away because they are MY memories.
Her moses basket is now as well small for her so i am keeping that for her dolls. I dont feel ready to let whatever of her stuff go nevertheless 
To say it breaks my centre is an understatement.
I did not feel similar this when my son was growing upwards because i knew i was going to have another baby 1 mean solar day.
i believe this is our style of coping with the fact that we wont exist having anymore of OUR OWN. But think of it this style! hopefully our children volition one day have children of their own and we volition have the pleasure of beingness in their life too, merely without all the sleep deprivation and feeding.
Funny thing is i missed all the feeding and waking up in the night once my son grew out of them, weird or what? and so now im just making the most of every minuet proficient or bad! ;)
I felt like this until my son dc2 became a toddler then I saw sense. Ha ha. Nonetheless one time he goes to school I will exist 5 sad as my days will non be the same but I feel information technology'due south a process you lot get throgh when your accepting no more babies for y'all
Don't worry they just get more and more fabled and entertaining. 
My eldest is nine.5 now - it breaks my heart to be honest - she is a brilliant, intelligent kind fiddling girl but each day she is moving a petty bit further from me. I would quite happily cease the world today and keep them as they are now.
I remember its natural. It's lovely to see them grow up, and feeling excited and amazed with the new things they learn and can you only then you lot will never get those modest days dorsum, so its bitter sweet. Definitely understandable to get a bit emotional, especially if y'all're not having whatever more, but so recollect of the fun things yous have in store every bit they get bigger
I am another sufferer plagued with misery at the thought of them growing.
I take an uber cute iii.five twelvemonth sometime DS and a hilarious 13 calendar month sometime petty bundle of pink mischief.
I constantly want to sniff her hair and seize with teeth her squidgy bum (that's normal, correct?
).
I stare at my DS and will him to cease growing correct there.
I watched him get a lot meliorate on his scooter at the weekend and being very pleased with himself so I grabbed him, kissed him and told him I loved him then I watched him wizz away, shouting I Love You lot TOO MUMMEEEEE. He looked so small and cute as he stopped every passer by and told them he was out with Mummy, Daddy, baby sister and his scooter and he has a big buzz lightyear at dwelling!
So, OP Im hoping it's just watching them grow is so fun that y'all panic the fun will somehow terminate but it won't.
My mum reassures that you lot learn to let become a fleck when they are teenagers considering they are and so fecking nippy you lot can't wait to see the back of them, it's natures way apparently thanks mum!
I am simply like this besides - I want to Stop my two year old at her current age and just keep her like this! As DH points out, I have been saying this for her entire life, at every stage she's gone through... but if she's annihilation similar I was as a teenager, I'll probably want to outset fast-forwarding once she hits 13
My two will exist 10 and vii in a couple of months, and I actually miss them being small! I've been fighting broodiness for a couple of years on and off, and am now wondering whether a 3rd kid might be an choice. Simply I've loved them at every stage of their lives so far, then I miss each bit as they become past it! Correct now, they're very caring towards me, proper mummy'south little men, and I think that if I had a third it would almost be similar having an but child as he/she would be so far away from them.
And then, in conclusion, you're certainly not alone to grieve over how fast fourth dimension passes! I'd imagine that in that location are few parents who wouldn't wish themselves dorsum to some point or other. Even my mother wishes herself back to when I was almost three and she was the eye of my world!
Mine are 12(almost xiii) and 15 years old now and I nevertheless feel sad at each stage nosotros leave backside.
I retrieve when I moved the cot from my room to DS1's own room when he was 6 months old. I felt insufficient.
What I tin tell you is that every yr, every phase they have been delightful in different ways. I accept loved information technology all. I e'er wish thay would stay the age they are forever, and yet I'm constantly surprised past how much of a pleasure they are at the next age.
When you accept babies people always say you must treasure every minute as it goes then quickly. Well I've tried to practise that.
If pushed I'd say the ages from 6 to 10 are the best and I am amazed how much I like having a teenager.
My Ds1 turned 18 at the end of 2010, it was causing me actual pain when I thought back to him every bit a baby, toddler, and little boy!
He was becoming a human, a fantastic young man that I am immensely proud of, but it was really difficult!
I think information technology'southward perfectly normal.. I definitely feel similar that on a regular basis sometimes and in that location are obviously lots of us on hither..
I imagine it might fifty-fifty exist a little scrap hormonal in your case as your baby is still and then small.
What I was going to say though is that I call up it's of import that we don't get overwhelmed by this feeling. My sister'southward eldest will exist starting secondary in September and she is positively in mourning, almost to the extent where information technology's interfering with her everyday enjoyment of her children.
Just a idea to deport in listen.
I grieve for the loss of my babies. I'd give my correct arm for an afternoon with each of them still at my knee. They're 17, 15 and 13, and each one is a delight. But those days have gone forever.
SO reassuring to hear that it's but normal loopiness, and then... Good thought, mamsnet, near not being overwhelmed by this feeling. It could so easily take over and make information technology incommunicable to enjoy the nowadays. Instead, I'm trying to harness it to make the not-and so-lovely bits more than bearable. Awake from 4 this morning with nappy changes and feeding, I was able to run into the positive side past reminding myself that my infant soon wouldn't need me this much anymore.
I occasionally wonder whether the grief is an indication that I "should" accept more children, but I don't suppose in that location'due south a linear relationship between grief and number of children - one is always going to be the last pregnancy, nativity and little babe.
Me too! Dd is 3 and ds 9m. Is it good plenty reason for dc3?
loved this thread.thankyou.8.5 DD and 2 year former DS.was broody a long time after DD started school,but so scared/unsure i delayed it.now i am still lamentable that i can't have newborn days back and look sadly at minor grows e.t.c.,but also appreciating advantages that these stages are bringing.100% that i dn't desire to practise it all again,due to age,money,2 bad births and ane bad pregnancy.practicalities would not admit some other child.but i exercise not think abut it at all at present,bar the odd passing cute newborn,my mind is more than at peasce now,considering i nevertheless have vivid memories of all the bad bits and now the family unit feels balanced and right to me,whereas i was on mumsnet for hours between kids,ging on almost broodiness and should i take more.at present i know.glad i did,but no more than!!.probably helped though because i have a girl and a boy so feels perfect to me,why upset the apple cart mental attitude. my hands feel very full to the point where i might crash if any extra stress/duties,so my principal other reason.still get very nostalgic though and my DD getting independant to,experience miles abroad from her sometimes...very sad!!
like someone else said,if simply we could do a time travel dorsum to the by good bits for a twenty-four hours/when we fancy...just i suppose that's true of all life experiences.
Our youngest is 4, we have 3 teenagers too, and I wish I could just canteen that beautiful baby olfactory property he has. I know information technology will go presently and that makes me quite sad.
You lot are not alone. My DS2 is only 13 weeks and I am 99% sure nosotros will stick at two. But I keep pondering a tertiary and then tell myself to cease thinking about it At present and to just enjoy it NOW - it's ridiculous! DS1 has just turned 4 and I also feel at that!
I have just taken downwardly my 2.5 years olds cot and when doing it I got a lump in my throat thinking about how it volition non be used again past me! DH had the snip eighteen months ago and I struggled to become to the betoken where I accepted that there would be no more.
I think its perfectly normal to feel sadness at the end of each 'stage' of a childs life. I look at my two year old and wonder when she became such an old woman!!
Another one here <snif>
Ds is 9 and it sometimes seems as if the last 9 years take passed in a flash. In some other 9 he will be 18 and packing to get to uni/travelling or somewhere. It hardly seems whatsoever time at all. Simply for now he's still a funny little boy who withal needs a cuddle every day.
I try and remember this, and treasure each and every day. A friend of mine believes that teenagers need be be horrible so the poor parents can contemplate a life without them - natures way of severing the cord
Aw, my 12w DD is currently comatose in my arms equally she'southward feeling poorly after her injections. I've just been looking through the pictures of usa in hospital when she was built-in. I was thinking how I would never forget how I felt in that infirmary room, how information technology smelt, being with this tiny thing that was utterly dependent on me and being terrified!
Hm, may just have a lilliputian weep. Those hormones have got a lot to reply for...
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Source: https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/1133539-Grief-about-babies-growing-up-am-I-loopy
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